Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
