guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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