i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
