you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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