i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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