Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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