you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
