My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize