she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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