yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
