1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
