It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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