Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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