my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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