Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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