was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
