Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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