it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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