you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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