let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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