Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
