I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
