I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize