Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
