so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize