Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
