guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
