Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize