u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
