: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
