my sisters under your porch take her home
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
