went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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