yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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