I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
