The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
