i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
