hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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