They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
