if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize