Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
