Where did you get a picture of my penis
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
