There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
