You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
