Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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