Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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