everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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