does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
