are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize