If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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