3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize