he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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