I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
