I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
