he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
