summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
