shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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