I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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