They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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