If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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