u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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