idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
