I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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