okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
