If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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