I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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