shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize